NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

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The significant news about these new affairs -- and what is different from the affairs of previous generations -- is that they originate as peer relationships. According to the book, an affair is defined as “any relationship with someone other than your partner that involves emotional intimacy, secrecy, and sexual chemistry.

She is skillful at building relationships with her clients and does a great job of putting people at ease. I can kind of understand (and in time can forgive) how the affair started but I am struggling with understanding why he chose to continue the affair. When you withhold information and keep secrets, you create walls that act as barriers to the free flow of thoughts and feelings that invigorate your relationship. Well-intentioned people who had not planned to stray are betraying not only their partners but also their own beliefs and moral values, provoking inner crises as well as marital ones. In her book she debunks common myths such as "Only people who are unhappily married have affairs," and "A relationship is only an affair when sexual intercourse is involved.When you have a wobble or another bad day Keelybooboo just pick either up and reread whichever bits help you most. Glass says that the shift from friendship to affair begins when one or both start confiding to each other. Many couples are conflicted about outside relationships that are viewed by one partner as too close and by the other as just friends.

This book not only addressed all of these questions, it explained why I am still unable to move forward. What I discovered from the study I conducted forced me to revise many of my own beliefs about infidelity, which naturally had been limited by my own experience as a conservative young woman who had married at the age of nineteen.This concern quickly became irrelevant because the feedback I have received from clients about working with Dr. Therefore, no matter how hard you may have worked to save the marriage, if your partner was unwilling to end an affair in which there was a deep emotional involvement, you were fighting an uphill battle. Read more about the condition New: A new, unread, unused book in perfect condition with no missing or damaged pages. As a result, people often receive bad advice from professional helpers as well as from well-intentioned friends and family members.

Most people mistakenly think it is possible to prevent affairs by being loving and dedicated to one’s partner. If you want to maintain your relationship, you need to learn how to prevent affairs and why so many people engage in behavior that goes against their professed values. Although some aspects were helpful, I didn't think it had enough insight into affair proofing your marriage and helping you understand just how easy it is for someone in an apparently strong marriage to go down the slippery slope into an affair.Add in the hilarious banter between Leighton and Bennett the security guard, I was busting at the seems. That section of the book is a summary of the successful strategies that make it possible for you to step back from the edge, reestablish boundaries, and commit once more to your primary relationship. Presley is one of the firefighter’s (Tibbs) sister and he is extremely overprotective of her but for a good reason. It’s important for quicker healing that the partners “bite their tongue” and are not too mean when they discover the affair.

I've altered all descriptive details in the case examples to protect the couples and maintain their confidentiality, but the actual interpersonal and individual issues are based on factual accounts. Shirley Glass was a clinical psychologist who was one of the top infidelity experts in the country (regretably she died of breast cancer in the fall of 2006). By using the Web site, you confirm that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by the Terms and Conditions. Although I read the book with much personal pain and had to put it down for days, I was compelled to pick it back up repeatedly because I saw myself on many of the pages. The first part of the book describes in detail how affairs develop, explaining the transition from a platonic friendship, to a fully-involved extramarital relationship.i said its not that at all its just that when 'the shadows' come into my mind that really helps to push them out again. Telling the full story and exploring the individual, relational, and social factors that made your marriage vulnerable to an affair is vital for healing and recovery. It's hard to believe that a marriage can be better after an affair, but it's true -- if you learn how to handle the nightmarish days after discovery, the traumatic reactions of the betrayed spouse, the revelation of details when the story is told, and the period of construction when the marriage is rebuilt, brick by brick. One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. Reconciliation peer support is emotional and practical support between people who share the common experience of reconciling after infidelity.